


Lost Without You

by highfunctioningclotpole



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Fluff, M/M, Merlin is real sad but then Arthur comes back, Reincarnation, kiss, reincarnated Arthur Pendragon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24308392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highfunctioningclotpole/pseuds/highfunctioningclotpole
Summary: Merlin has been waiting for centuries.Lonely and lost without his destiny.But something is different about today.Today, the lake stirs.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 145





	Lost Without You

_Music I listened to whilst writing this (and title inspiration) -_

[ _I Was Lost Without You - Mass Effect 3 - Sam Hulick_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnoRlKzeIaI)

.oOo.

Merlin stares out at the water from the bench, birds singing softly and swooping by, gliding across the surface. He’s stared at this image so many times he’s lost count now. The lake is still and the sun reflects off the surface like a mirror, nothing stirs and Merlin is almost ready to leave for the day.

He’s waited here, in the exact same spot for thousands of years. Waited, Watched. Waiting for something, for the water to ripple and show a sign of a life, for something to stir and remind him the reason he’s here. Merlin has imagined the moment so many times, throughout so many different times and ages, forever wondering how _he_ will look when he reappears. Because he will reappear, Merlin is sure of it. He has to because otherwise, what is the point in Merlin being here at all?

Merlin clings onto the hope, the belief that he will return someday. He feels the pain of the absence in his heart and bites his lip to stop a few tears falling. It’s always the same, the pang of guilt for letting him go, the aching in his heart. Merlin misses him more and more each day. 

As Merlin stands, he hears something. A small sound that he’s not even sure was real but he stares out to the lake, anticipation building in his body. The sound comes again, a small crunching like leaves underfoot and Merlin snaps his head sideways. Behind a tree to his right he sees movement, a branch bobbing up and down and Merlin blames the wind. But as he starts to walk away again, he becomes aware of how still the air is. It hangs heavy around him, muggy and warm. 

Suddenly Merlin hears a splash as clear as anything and he whips round, throwing himself off balance. He stares, wide eyed at the lake and there, in the centre is a ripple. It starts small at first, fluttering softly and then expanding. Merlin takes a few tentative steps forward, could this be it? Could this be the moment he’s been waiting for for so long? 

Merlin watches, heart in his throat as the water starts to move with more urgency, splashing on the bank close to his feet. The sky above gets darker and clouds close in, blocking out the sun and Merlin feels the rumble they emit deep in his stomach. He walks closer now and the lake is up to his shins, Merlin pays no attention to the cold, wetness on his legs. All he can focus on is getting closer to the ripple, closer to the chance that this might be the day he’s been waiting for. 

Without warning, something breaks through the water and Merlin lunges forward, grasping at everything he can reach, his eyes stinging from his own tears and the water in the lake. The water lifts again and it pushes Merlin back on to the shore, he watches, looking for what forced him back. 

Time seems to slow as the events unfold before Merlin. A hand in a black, leather glove reaches up out of the water. Merlin’s breath hitches, he’s unable to move. All he can do is watch as his heart beats out a furious rhythm in his chest. The water sways again, lifting high and falling back down with a loud crash. As it falls, Merlin covers his face briefly, shielding himself from the wet. When he opens his eyes, he isn’t sure whether he’s in a dream or this is actually happening.

_“Arthur…”_

Merlin’s voice is quiet, barely a whisper as he looks out at the sight before him. The water has calmed down and the sky is bright again, the clouds disappearing as quickly as they came. In the centre of the lake, stands Arthur.. He’s wearing a red cape, shining armour and brown trousers. Merlin notices Arthur looks exactly the same as the day he said goodbye all those years ago. Merlin stands, blinking in disbelief as Arthur moves slowly closer. He wonders if Arthur remembers him, if he remembers anything about Camelot and the life they shared together. As he continues to walk, Arthur stumbles and Merlin is quick to his feet, running to catch the fallen king. As he nears, Arthur’s head lifts up and he blinks in recognition. 

“Merlin… Is that..? It’s you.” 

Merlin nods, grabbing both of Arthur’s arms and lifting him to stand. He can’t focus on any words, his mind too busy with thoughts of _finally,_ and _he remembers,_ and _Arthur, Arthur, Arthur._ They clutch each other tightly as they walk to the bank, both afraid to let the other go through fear that they might disappear. When they reach the shore, Arthur stumbles again and Merlin breaks his fall, lowering them both to sit on the damp earth. 

“I can’t believe it’s really you.” Merlin breaths, tears falling from his eyes as he wipes hair from Arthur’s face.  
“I remember… Mordred.. And Gwaine, we lost Gwaine…” Arthur is breathing heavily.   
“Yes… But it’s okay, because you’re here..”

Arthur doesn’t hear Merlin or chooses to ignore him as he carries on. “I was dying. Mordred.. He stabbed me with the sword.”   
“Arthur, listen…”   
“You told me you had magic.”   
“Please let me explain…” 

Merlin’s body is shaking now as he holds Arthur in his lap once again. He looks down at the king and bites his lip. He always knew that telling Arthur the truth would be hard but he never imagined the anguish he feels now. 

“Mordred betrayed us. You killed him after he stabbed you. I brought you here to Avalon.” Merlin gestures at the great lake before them. “I tried to save you, Arthur but I couldn’t. I tried..” Merlin sobs and Arthur sits up weakly, pulling away from Merlin slightly.   
“You have magic.” He says again. “I remember the lake but then... Darkness.”   
“Arthur, you have been gone for thousands of years. You… Y-You died…” 

Arthur looks around properly for the first time and notices the strange and bizarre features surrounding the lake. A tall metal structure with wires stretching across to an identical one further away. In the distance he sees a road with strange carriages, but no horses pulling them. He looks at Merlin and realises he looks different, his clothes are of a forgein fabric, not the usual red shirt and blue neckerchief Arthur was so used to. 

“I died…Thousands of years...” Arthur repeats Merlin’s words back to him.   
“I waited. Every single day, I came here and I waited for you. For this moment, to be able to see you again and touch you. To hold you and protect you.” 

As Merlin speaks, Arthur rids himself of his gloves and cape and he sits beside his manservant, hundreds of thoughts going through his mind. He thinks of Camelot and wonders if it’s still here, Merlin is so why wouldn’t the kingdom be? As he sits and thinks, Arthur is aware of Merlin’s shaking body beside him. He remembers seeing Merlin cry before but this is different. This is years of feelings that have been locked in, allowed to finally flow free and Merlin doesn’t hold back.

All Merlin wants to do is take Arthur in his arms and never let go. He wants to cherish him all over, protect him like he should’ve done all those years ago. He takes deep breaths, trying to control the ragged sobs leaving his body when he feels a familiar warm hand on his back. Merlin looks up and Arthur’s face is soft, his eyes the same bright blue he remembers, his cheeks flushed slightly. 

“Arthur, I missed you…”   
“I know, Merlin. I know.”   
“I was lost without you. I didn’t know what to do, where to go.” Merlin shudders and wipes at his face.   
“It feels like only moments ago for me. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.” Arthur is rubbing his hand on Merlin’s back, the sensation calming him down as well as the manservant.   
Merlin chuckles, a short laugh that has Arthur smiling. “You always did like to make me suffer.” 

And just like that, their usual banter is restored. Merlin feels the smile returning to his face, a smile he reserves for only Arthur and he twists his hands together. Arthur watches, sensing how nervous the boy is and wonders if the pang in his stomach is mutual. He turns on the ground, pulling Merlin’s face to his own. 

“I wanted to say something, before… Before I… Died.” Arthur’s voice is almost a whisper. Saying he died feels alien but Arthur doesn’t drop his gaze as he speaks.   
“I needed to tell you something.” 

Merlin is aware that Arthur’s hand is still on his cheek, warm and calloused. “What is it?” 

“I told you to never change… And you didn’t.” Arthur smiles, his lips parted slightly. “Look at you, still the same Merlin, the same man I…”

Arthur pauses, summoning the courage to say the final word. He looks deep into Merlin’s eyes and sees the years and years of pain. He doesn’t want to make Merlin wait any longer. 

“The same man I love.” 

Merlin’s breath hitches in his throat as the words fill his head. The words he’d always dreamt of Arthur saying to him. The words he’d whispered when he’d said goodbye at Avalon. It’s Arthur who moves first, reaching up his other hand to cup Merlin’s cheek. He holds him there, just for a moment before he leans in and presses his lips to Merlin’s. The kiss feels like a weight lifted, like everything had finally slotted into place. 

Merlin’s hands lift up to Arthur’s hips but they struggle to grip the chain-mail Arthur is still wearing. He moves them up to Arthur’s shoulders, pulling him closer and opening his mouth, deepening the kiss. Merlin kisses Arthur as if he’s desperate to breath and Arthur is the only one who can give him air. He pours centuries of emotions into the kiss and tangles his hands in Arthur’s hair which elicits a small moan of pleasure. 

Merlin pulls back, breathing deeply, lips swollen and looks at Arthur who’s pupils have blown wide. Arthur tries to lean in for a second kiss but Merlin puts a single finger to his lips. 

“Come home with me.” Merlin says, hands lowering so he can lace his fingers in Arthur's.

Arthur nods. “To Camelot?”   
“It’s Camelot, but not as you know it. Let me show you.” 

Merlin stands and pulls Arthur to his feet and they pick up the discarded cape and gloves. Arthur takes Merlin’s hand in his own and it feels like they were made to fit together, like this was his destiny all along. He follows Merlin towards the edge of the clearing, where the trees part and a narrow path begins.

Merlin stops.

“Beyond this path is a new world, Arthur. Are you ready?”  
“I have you, Merlin. I can do anything as long as I have you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this lil fic! 
> 
> I have an idea for a small sequel to this but we shall see, depends if people want it?!
> 
> As always, feedback is much appreciated! 
> 
> -Much love x


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